Watch Your Step!

No really, what’s with the weird foot injuries?

Whatever words you associate with Washington, D.C., you’re missing three of the most important: weird foot injuries.

I know, I know. It’s Monuments! The White House! The Capitol! The Supreme Court! The Smithsonian! The cherry blossoms! The reflecting pool! Arlington National Cemetery!¹ The Presidents! The various federal agencies!

Photo by Andy He on Unsplash Honestly beautiful. Searched for “Washington, D.C.”

Or maybe your list is more jaded: lobbyists! Corruption! Scandal! Pork barrel spending! Horse Trading! Swamp! Revolving Doors! Sliding Doors! Minivans parked illegally! 8th grade field trips!

Photo by Joakim Honkasalo on Unsplash Weirdly brooding and evil, despite literally being empty chairs. Searched for “politics.”

Or maybe you have weird, niche interests or are a Jeopardy! champion: not an actual state! Formerly square! Postal code is DC but the abbreviation is D.C.! A city of Northern Charm and Southern Efficiency! Wasn’t always the capital! The Constitution is younger than America! The British burned the White House! President James A. Garfield could have been saved by germ theory! Many overlapping law enforcement units!

Photo by Vlad Gorshkov on Unsplash Grid-like. Nice view of the Capitol. A street closure with some kind of demonstration occurring. Searched “Map Washington D.C.”

But hear me out. Washington, D.C. has more weird foot injuries per capita than any other city on earth. I have five illustrative examples, starting with most common and ending with absolutely THE WEIRDEST.