The Penultimate Post
(Of 2025!)
Don’t worry, we’ll keep rocking into 2026. But other than one more Wednesday One-Liner, this is the second-to-last1 time we’ll meet in real-time in 2025.2 I’ve really enjoyed every minute with you, especially the ones where you all subscribed in the same week and pushed me up to #51 Rising in Humor and other incredible accolades.3
In honor of this funny, restful, festive week between Christmas and New Year’s, I will not be discussing resolutions.4 I vehemently dislike New Year’s Resolutions, because I usually think of really good ones in like April, and then again in October, and I always forget about them by the time January rolls around. Or I’ve decided I no longer want to be a better person, and I decline the opportunity to start on January 1. Or I’m on vacation or otherwise not in my normal routine and so it’s impossible to wake up at 6 am and do pushups or whatever, because this is vacation. I really think people would have more success with New Year’s Resolutions if they started them in the spring or in mid-January,5 or like, whenever it pops into their head.
So instead of a long post about resolutions, I am going to leave you with some of my best names for a production company. Please enjoy and also don’t copy them, they’re mine, I proved it here on the Internet:
Crooked Topiary Productions
Lukewarm Kombucha Productions
Fourth Wall Shards (this one has a really cute and smash-y logo)
Marionette Productions (just kidding, it’s a shell company!)
Tiny Cactus Productions
Un-Velcroed Productions
Good luck in the New Year, everybody! Alexandra’s America will still be the best place to live on the Internet, and now you know we also name production companies.
Knowing the meaning of “penultimate” is one of those things that most of the time makes you kind of a pain to be around but every now and then really clarifies the situation and saves you from a lot of premature panic.
Don’t worry, the archive lives on the Internet all year round. At least, it does for now …
Just kidding, showing up in the “rising in humor” chart and getting over 100 subscribers are my only two Substack accolades.
I mean, good for you if that’s what you’re doing.
One of the great regrets of my life was doing Whole30 in January of 2020. I wasted 30 days of pure, unadulterated normalcy eating plantain chips. And yes I know some purists don’t even think you can have those on Whole30, and like, tell the purists that the world was about to shut down and I wasn’t going to restaurants or doing anything fun and it was a terrible mistake and so let me have the stupid plantain chips, okay?